If you do business in Japan, sooner or later you will be invited out after work. Understanding two words, settai and nijikai, makes those evenings much easier to read.

Settai: entertainment with a purpose

Settai means entertaining a client or business partner: a dinner, drinks, sometimes golf. It is a long-standing way of building trust outside the meeting room. The host company pays, chooses the venue and looks after the guests all evening.

If you are the guest, your role is simple: accept graciously, take part, and thank your hosts. If you are the host, your role is to make your guests comfortable and to handle everything, including the bill, without them noticing.

Nijikai and sanjikai: the second and third stops

Dinner is often only the first part. Afterwards the group may move to a nijikai (second party) and sometimes a sanjikai (third party). These later stops are usually a bar, karaoke, or a club or lounge in districts such as Ginza in Tokyo or Kitashinchi in Osaka.

The second party tends to be more relaxed. Conversation moves away from work, and this is where many relationships are actually built.

What is expected of a foreign guest

• You are not expected to know every custom. Japanese hosts generally appreciate respect and good humour more than a perfect imitation of Japanese manners.
• Follow the toast. Wait for kanpai before drinking.
• Pour for others and let others pour for you. Our etiquette guide covers seating and toasts in detail.
• Pace yourself. You can keep a glass partly full so that it is not constantly refilled, or switch to oolong tea.
• Do not offer to split the bill when you are someone’s guest.

How to decline politely

You do not have to go to every second party. Direct refusals are uncommon in Japan, so soften it:

• Thank your hosts for the dinner first.
• Give a simple reason: an early meeting, a flight, or jet lag works well for a visitor.
• Say you hope to join next time.

Leaving after the first stop is normal, especially for visitors. Leaving abruptly without thanks is what is noticed.

Returning the favour

If a Japanese partner has hosted you, offering to host them in return is appreciated, either on your next visit or before you leave. A well-planned evening with a good dinner and a quiet club or lounge for the second stop is a classic way to do it.

Things to decide in advance:

• The venue for each stop, booked ahead. High-end clubs often accept new guests only by reservation or introduction.
• The budget per person, including the service charge. Use the bill estimator with the venue’s prices.
• How you will pay so that the bill is settled away from the table, and a formal receipt (ryōshūsho) for your expenses.

Our planning guide for hosting clients walks through each of these. If you would like help choosing and booking the second stop, send us your plan and we will reply on WhatsApp with options and the full price structure.